Tuesday, June 19, 2007

My Hot Boy Sean

Having previously discussed my finances several times in this blog, I think it’s only fair at this point to answer the question “Aren’t you married and doesn’t he have a job?”

Well, “Yes indeedy” to both. In fact, my darling husband is a successful software developer at a company called Open Access Technology International, just a few miles away from where we live. The main problem is my own overwhelming desire to avoid this “real world” that everyone is always complaining about. After all, if it sucks so much, why bother if you have any other options at all? But, that’s just me. The only problem is that it doesn’t pay quite as well as many (but not all) “real-world” jobs, which seems like such a paltry detail … except that rent and utilities in Plymouth aren’t inexpensive.

I should also make clear, so that I don’t have to sleep in the spare bedroom, that Sean is a software developer (or software engineer), and NOT a programmer. Programmers, who can work with a two-year degree, apparently have an aptitude somewhere in-between trained monkeys and retarded monkeys. (Sean also informs me that I’ll probably get in trouble with saying “retarded,” but that’s an official psychological term for very-low IQ, so I’m sticking to my guns.) I, for one, cannot program like monkeys at all. My programming skills (other than for web-related purposes) are more like those of a dead rat – a smelly one.

Since I’m on my Soap Box of Praise, I should also list Sean’s other sterling qualities. He is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, two section tests and a year away from his second-degree belt. He can also play video games like nobody’s business. (Bleed FF12 monster, bleed!) He hardly ever beats children or animals (translation of sarcasm: he’s uber-amazing with them). He knows the band/singer of almost any song on “good” radio stations (Drive 105 or 93X) after a ridiculously few number of notes. He can also quickly deduce complex conclusions from an amazingly little amount of information, usually on topics that took my classmates and I several class periods to discuss. He makes up wonderful words combining two banal words, creating such classics as “fun-tastic,” “food-tastic,” and “sun-tacular.” (Just kidding, he really does do that, but those lame examples are my own.) He will also watch “girl-movies” with me; he’s such a sweetheart! Plus, he’s totally hot, and he doesn’t force me to get a “real” job, supporting me in my jewelry-/teaching-related efforts.

Just so you aren’t too jealous, I’ll also mention some of his shortcomings. He has very soft and girly feet for a boy in TKD. He says he’s going to make me get a pedicure so I don’t make him look so bad. (It’s not my fault he has to wear shoes all day.) He also does not process information visually, which means that I (with my tenuous grasp of left and right) am the navigator when driving if we want to make it home alive. He won’t wear the jewelry I make unless he can wear it like a tiara. And, lastly, he thinks (“knows”, he asserts) that I’m a bad person. Well, that may be the case, but I don’t know why he thinks I need reminding. One should embrace one’s gifts. I wonder if I should tell him that it takes one to know one?

In conclusion, I have a totally great boy who keeps us out of debtors prison when my hard work does not earn immediate economic benefits (even if he does have pretty feet).

Monday, June 18, 2007

Finances and Kittens

In my previous entry (two months ago) I discussed the economics of bidding on eBay. It presents an appropriate segue into today's discussion.

As the one person who checks this blog noticed, my server was down for about a month. For the past few weeks I have been low on funds, having just finished finals (and not having had time to substitute teach, or put anything on eBay) so I found myself needing to assign priorities to a pile of financial desicions regarding my business.

Server People: "Muwah wah var ruh tummh scurrp."
Julie: "Yes, I'm aware that my yearly server subscription just expired."
Server People: "Puuuurh carh furt dong."
Julie: "Ah. I see. You shut off access to my site. The 'Forbidden' is quite daunting!"
Server People: "Yuxx miam purt fewd fawl."
Julie: "Can I pay you in kittens or cardboard?"

As you may guess, the present economy has a slight bias toward paper currency, not kittens or cardboard, so I was forced to let my subscription lapse for a bit. I think they just hate kittens. As important as reinstating my website was (and eliminating that very scary 'Forbidden'), unfortunately I also have a dirty little desire called indoor plumbing that seemed slightly more pressing at the time. I need cuter kittens.

Yesterday evening I put another beadbox of orphans on eBay, starting at $100. Within 12 hours it received its first bid. Hooray. With about four-and-a-half days left it just has one person watching the auction, but $100 keeps us out of the poor house for another day. At least we don't have to feed those ugly kittens anymore.

P.S. We don't actually have kittens. I'm sure they would have saved me if we did.