Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Geez, I'm AMAZING!

So, today has been a busy day. I've been making beads, doing logistics - figuring out supply amounts and costs for upcoming classes, writing class handouts for new classes, polishing up my web page, pondering ideas for a book on the applied psychology of similarities and differences that I started outlining, took photos of Sean for his passport application ... and it hit me: Geez, I'm totally and completely amazing. So, why haven't I put a harness on this raw talent and ambition to conquer the known universe ... or at least this corner of Minneapolis?

Since I have heard that making a plan public can help you stick to it, I will share my little plan for world domination here with my loyal readership. It might botch the whole advantage of surprise, but I'm confident, should that happen, that my overwhelming charm and intelligence will steamroller any incident obstacles.

Step One: Taking Over The Neighborhood.
Sean and I live in a little rental townhome community in the "rough" part of Plymouth. It's like we're a little camp of gypsy vagrants camped in the courtyard of princes. Don't get me wrong, these are nice people, but their children ... now that they are free of school with parents at work ... Ugh! These kids scare me. They break each others' cell phones and launch firecrackers off of people's cars. Let's forget about step one until we have more resources and gloves.

Step Two: Community Action!
Actually ... as I try to ponder possibilities like buying off the local community advisory board, distributing propaganda around local community centers, buying a professional wrestler and a construction crane, my mind is wondering off to the cool fruity iced tea I have in the refrigerator. Oh, sweet, peachy tea!

Step Three: Hire Nicaraguan Freedom Fighters
When in doubt, bring in the mercenaries. I'm not sure what the target will be yet, but I feel strongly that paying some third-world hard-working people a living wage with some benefits is the right thing to do. It's time to make the world economy global!

Hum ... Other than the slight lack of continuity and breadth of vision that may be indicative of my lack of world (or city) power to date, I think it's a great start. If nothing else, I'll have the freedom fighters stage a cage match with the wrestler in a crane-suspended ring of some sort and the people will embrace me for my deep understanding of popular culture. How's that sound?

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