Wednesday, February 17, 2010

You Rock My World!


Know how it seems easier to get things done when you have a lot on your plate? You just can't afford to be lazy, so you power through everything and feel great. I feel like I'm on an awkward cusp of that feeling.

Before Sawyer was born I don't think I truly realized - there's quite a lot of time in the day. The realization came after spending most of that time with an 11-month-old extrovert within three feet of me at all times. As an introvert, someone that requires alone time to recharge, sometimes (and the mommy police won't want to hear this) the day just   D  R  A  G  S   on. While I tend to my now-walking-exploring-touching-eating-EVERYTHING adorable little boy, my torches sit alone and unused in my studio.

As an introvert with ADD, jewelry design became an important outlet for both of those traits. It is my solitude. It reinvigorates me. Silly as it might seem to anyone else, it's a joy to wake up and pull cool beads out of the kiln that were just shades of orange when you made them, the last time you saw them. It is also where I go to refocus. If I don't feel like I've been productive in SOMETHING after I've struggled focusing on something else - homework, finances, cleaning - guilt sets in, the cascade effect ensues, and terror follows. Terror? I still have dreams that I have a final tomorrow for a class that I never cancelled and never attended.

Sean is always my savior. After he works a long day trying to write exceptional program code between frantic questions from other software developers he comes home and begins his second job as Dad. It's at that time that I step away from my full-time position as Mom and go to my second job called jewelry designer. Some days I work at the torch, others I work on my website or other marketing duties. I comparison-shop and purchase raw materials, locate out-of-production materials, create class samples and handouts, and sometimes jewelry I can sell. It's the time I need to remember my other facets. The time where I get to use my talents on something other than singing fifty-eight verses of "The Ants Go Marching" or playing "Peek," "Catch-Me-Crawling-Up-The-Stairs," or "Hold Me." I would never say those are unimportant things, but I stop being able to do them well without balance. Thank you Sean!

Of course, when Sean comes home, I've had just as long a day working as he did. As important as it is to use my outlet, sometimes I'm just tired. Sometimes I lack motivation. That's why I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to help me link this blog to Facebook. Thank you for indicating you had even the teensiest interest in reading about the jewelry designer part of my life. You are my motivation. You ROCK my world!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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